Roy Carlson’s love of family leaves an example for all of us to follow…every one of us here in this beautiful church should stop and take a moment to think about why we are here.  Most likely, it is because Roy touched your life in some special way.  Maybe you are a young person who was helped out at the Shawsheen School or treated with kindness there by the janitor, Mr. Carlson.  Maybe you are the person who lived across the street on Jones Ave. who said that you could not ask for a better neighbor than Roy, or the Town worker who said that Roy was the best example of a gentleman that she knew of.  You might be a wife or son who cannot imagine how life is going to go on without their husband and father or maybe you are like me…eternally grateful for an uncle who treated me like a daughter when I lost my parents and my husband.  And every time Uncle Roy did anything to help me and I would offer my thanks, his answer was always the same…He would say to me, “that’s what family is for.”  Those words will stay forever in my mind and heart.  Family is what Roy Carlson was all about.

But let’s go way back in time for a moment…where there once was a woman named Ellen Olsen.  She was a cook from Copenhagen, Denmark and she came all the way to Boston to meet and marry Peter Jensen, a barber who also was from Copenhagen.  At the same time in Gotland, an island constituting a county of Sweden located in the Baltic Sea, Emma Anderson, also a cook, married a stone mason named Herman Carlson.  The Jensens raised four children, and one of them was named Ida.  Four children were also born into the Carlson family and they named one baby Roy.  In 1928 Roy proposed to Ida and they married and had 4 children: one who did not survive, 2 girls and a son that they named Roy Herman Carlson, Jr.  Roy’s sisters names were Elaine and Marilyn.  The Carlson’s grew up in Malden.  At the young age of 19, Roy married an ‘older woman’ Shirley  and they have spent 53 years of married life doing everything together.  Roy worked for Market Forge in those early years following in his father’s footsteps…making hospital equipment out of stainless steel.  Roy and Shirley have 2 sons and Roy describes them this way:  David, the oldest, is the brain and Mike is the mechanic.  For the past few years, David and his wife Barbara have shared their Marco Island vacations with Roy and Shirley.  Travelling back from the airport I would hear the stories of how much they enjoyed these trips to Florida but mostly it was all about just being with David and Barbara.  Mike married Cherish and gave Roy and Shirley their first grandchild.  Roy always called Michaela, the prettiest girl in Tewksbury!  Michaela always made him smile.  They enjoyed digging worms in the garden and going fishing.  Cherish calls Roy, Michaela’s puppet because he would do anything she would ask whether he felt like it or not.  As a young boy, Mike played hockey, well even as a grown man Mike still plays hockey….but in those younger days snow or sleet would not keep Roy away from practices and games from Squirts to High School many of which were at 5:00 AM.  Roy even played goalie against Mike when he was 50 years old even though he could barely stand up on skates.  Cherish recalls that Roy would do anything for family and was always supportive.  He helped them with their house and would go to Mike’s shop to help out there too.  He would buy shop supplies, soda and candy and bring it by without being asked.  Sometimes he would drop things off and disappear and Cherish would ask Mike where his father went and Mike would say, “that’s my dad.”

One of Roy’s greatest achievements in this life was his 27 years of sobriety.  He was so proud of this accomplishment and was there to offer help and support to others who were struggling in this area also. My sister Elaine lovingly remembers Roy being the one most instrumental in helping her husband, Fred take all the actions necessary in achieving his own sobriety of which he has kept for 19 years this week. 

Some of Roy’s favorite things besides his family were fishing, gardening and playing Scrabble.  He was always good for catching that Triple Word Score.  He loved scratch tickets and playing the lottery….the only numbers worth playing were Michaela’s birth date and more recently the birth date of the newest member of the family the beautiful grandson Jake.  Wow!  Was he ever proud of that little boy!!  Roy had a real soft spot for animals and he loved country music and Ray Charles,  watching the Red Sox and trips to Mohegan Sun.  Marilyn and I have many, many happy memories of days spent at Indian Ranch with our aunt and uncle…cooking on the grill, taking the same boat tour of Lake Webster over and over  and then just hanging out at the country western shows.

For me and my sisters and our children, Roy will always be Uncle Chickie…As a young boy growing up in Malden his parents raised chickens and turkeys in their yard on Granite Street.  His sisters gave him the nickname Chickie because well let’s just say he had an unpleasant chore that involved the poultry.  The name stuck with his sisters and was passed on down for years. When our grandparents were still alive, we always spent summer vacations in Raymond, NH.  We all remember Uncle Chickie taking us for rides in his 53 chevy…Elaine remembers her uncle taking us all sledding (somewhere in Malden) and then going over to grandmas house for hot chocolate. Most people want to go on vacation to get away from others but Roy and Shirley liked to rent cottages and invite people to share in their fun.  They are fortunate to have Mike’s family around a lot of the time but how my uncle’s face would light up when he knew that Dave and Barbara were coming and everyone would be together.   Unfortunately, for me, Elaine and Laura our parents died 5 months apart.  When my mother, Marilyn died, Auntie Shirley and Uncle Chickie promised to help watch out for us girls.  They have been there for us in so many ways, I have lost count.  So it wasn’t just love for his own family that was so special, he had a special love for his sister, Marilyn’s family too.  When my daughter Marilyn, lost her own dad at the age of 7, he took her under his wing like she was his own granddaughter.  How lucky she was to be a student at the Shawsheen School where she remembers at lunchtime looking for trash to throw away just so she could go up and say hi to him …Funny as it may seem, Amy and Kerry tell the same story of how proud they were to have their uncle working at their school.  They said that even when they were having a bad day, everything would be OK because their uncle was there.  Sometimes, just BEING there is all that it takes.  Elaine and I both shared the same good feeling  knowing that our uncle was in  school looking out for our children.  Amy, Kerry, and Marilyn were all SO proud to tell everyone that Mr. Carlson was their uncle.  He and Auntie Shirley attended every dance recital that Marilyn had and every Strings concert…and they would always bring her a silk rose.  He would encourage her with her studying and even remember the names of her Hollywood boyfriends.  I could stand here all day long and never run out of stories of how Auntie Shirley and Uncle Chickie have been there to help me over the past years.  And he would always say, “don’t worry about thanking us, that’s what family is for.”

And let’s not forget about mentioning Uncle George….as I sit here reflecting on Roy and his sisters Elaine and Marilyn, I think about Uncle George who was Elaine’s husband…I think about Roy’s love of family and friends….I think about how  important it is to spend time …good quality time with family and friends.  There is a time and a season for everything under the sun … a time for living and a time for dying….and I realize that Uncle George was there for them all at their times of passing from this life into the next…he was with his wife Elaine…he was with me the day that my mother Marilyn died and he and Fran were there on Roy’s last good day.  If today we have tears, let it be so because as Shakespeare said, “Tears water our growth.”  The 10^th Chapter of the Book of Proverbs states that ” The memory of a good person is a blessing “ …and we ALL know that grief is the price we pay for love.  We are all paying that price right now but the love is SO worth it.  Upon leaving Uncle Chickie’s room at the Mass General Hospital for the last time, I think of the great view he had overlooking the Charles River and all the beautiful boats…I think of the funny stuff he said and all the ice cream floats he had…I think of how happy he was to spend that week with his wife and children.   And as Marilyn and I were walking out of the room, we blew him a kiss and he blew one right back and this time he was thanking me for helping Auntie Shirley with rides to the hospital….and I turned to him and said “That’s What Family Is For” and without missing a beat and a big smile on his face…he pointed to me and said, “You Got That Right”…

DEATH LEAVES A HEARTACHE

NO ONE CAN HEAL,

LOVE LEAVES A MEMORY,

NO ONE CAN STEAL.

On Behalf of Shirley, David, Michael and their families I would like to thank you all for coming.    

 Julie Sbraccia-Manos